As my eyes travelled through the closets in my home, I finally told myself, ”Get rid of this stuff. It’s time to move on.” Last month, I made the decision to make do with fewer things. I sold a chest of drawers, donated clothes and other unneeded objects to a resale store, and reorganized my remaining possessions.
While I am not a pack rat by any means, it had taken me several years to purge myself of these belongings. Why did I hold on to them for so long? Was it simply procrastination, or the delusion that one day I would actually use them? Perhaps. But I think the most likely reason was my lingering attachment to each item. I vividly recall why and when I bought them, and what my priorities in life had been at the instant of purchase. They were symbols of my past interests, desires, and foibles. The chest of drawers represented my accomplishment at finally taking the homeownership plunge. The fancy clothes with the fancy labels reminded me of my twenties, when I cared much more than today about appearing current in front of my peers. Over time, these items became less and less necessary, yet I was clinging to a past that I didn’t want to discard. I was afraid of discarding my identity.
In yoga classes, we are asked to focus on the present, and to set aside the past and the future. The past could be the events of the day or maybe even the challenges of a prior yoga class. The future may be our impending work deadlines or that yoga pose we are eagerly trying to master. For one hour or so, we are asked to simply exist in the present and allow our bodies and minds to experience it.
The past will never, and could never, be extinguished from my consciousness. In fact, I owe my current identity to the experiences of the past. But I can rid myself of its symbols. I can have a little less clutter in my home, thereby making room for more important things in life. I can enjoy the present a little more freely.
Isaias Sarmiento
© 2010
